How to: Survive as a Southerner up North.

Hey there! On this week’s issue of How to: I tell you my advice on being a southerner up north, code-cracking the dialect and what you can expect. I have a northern boyfriend who’s from Sheffield and have visited the upper part of the UK a lot so it’s safe to say I now have a good grip on Northern slang/life.

First of all, they can drink for England. Do not try to keep up seriously! And I’ll tell you por que: a few new years ago, I came up to Sheffield to go out with Adam (bf) and some of his mates. Now, I have always been a bit of a light weight so I tried to be tactful at pres by doing the whole drink a lot so you don’t have to get anymore when you’re actually out thing- so I would create the illusion of keeping up. Good plan am I right? Anyway, all was well, then long story short, I was sent home at 12:30. 12:30! How lame. Genuinely thought I was fine though haha. So now I don’t bother keeping up, I save more money having less drinks so who’s the real winner here!

If you wanna go anywhere passed round about Nottingham, forget everything you knew about the English language. Apparently, in the North they literally have their own, which I had to learn in order to understand anyone! Most of my initial experience was spent nodding along and smiling with no idea what anyone’s on about. So here’s a little help on some translations!

-Nowt = nothing

-Owt = anything

-Summit = something

-Reyt = some sort of good?

-Orate = hello

-Bread cake = bread roll (I disagree that a bread roll is cake and this topic is often the source of my relationship domestics hahaha)

-Nesh = cold

-Packing up = packed lunch

-Duck, pal, shag, shagger, cock, kid = terms of endearment…. Yeah I know.

My next advice is to always bring a coat or jumper even in 30 degree forecast heat as it’s always cold and the weather man is lying. Although I’ve noticed northerners seem to be immune to coldness as lots of people live in t-shirts year round so you can always spot the southerner as they will be the person in the puffer jacket mid June.

There’s no denying they have the best banter ever so join in and have a laugh. Try not to take the Bluntness to heart as it’s just part of the jokkkessss! It’s actually quite good as northerners seem way more honest which is always better to aspire to be like. You may be ‘bullied’ but suck it up as you’re up north now and you just have to take it to survive. Cannot be letting out our inner southern fairies.

Another best thing? Chips and gravy. Roasts. Cheap drink. Need I say more? Next..

The driving experience is all round better up north. People will let you out, say thank you, and generally not be a dick. Tbh if you can survive the horrific drivers of the south, especially London, then the north’s a breeze!

100% recommend visiting the North pretty much anywhere. I’d especially urge you to visit the Peak District as it’s so beautiful and peaceful- my absolute happy place! Everyone is generally way nicer and incredibly friendly up north and I need to move there at some point.

Thanks for reading!

Joc x




One thought on “How to: Survive as a Southerner up North.

  1. Loved reading this and we do like the North. Years ago a Kenyan visitor staying with us was fascinated by the road signs saying The North!


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